making tincture for a heavy heart

full moon creations - getting myself & my spirit ready for 2025

Song in the manner of Housman, Ezra Pound

O woe, woe, 
People are born and die, 
We also shall be dead pretty soon 
Therefore let us act as if we were 
dead already.


The bird sits on the hawthorn tree 
But he dies also, presently.
 
Some lads get hung, and some get shot.
 
Woeful is this human lot.
 
Woe! woe, etcetera .
 .
 .
 .


London is a woeful place, 
Shropshire is much pleasanter.
 
Then let us smile a little space 
Upon fond nature's morbid grace.
 
Oh, Woe, woe, woe, etcetera .

Pretty depressing yet relatable poem I found about hawthorn, death & Winter. It felt quite fitting for my mood this past few days, we have heavy hearts at Eagle Rock as we gathered with friends over the weekend to remember a special guy we lost this time last year. We sipped wine & tea & ate 4 kinds of cake, it was sweet & beautiful, bittersweet but I felt exhausted, too tired to make conversation, we had just been at the funerals of two Portuguese men we have known for some years here. ( yes you read that correctly, two funerals at once, something I have never experienced before ) So I am feeling the heaviness of this, reflecting on the passage of time & how life can be so unexpectedly harsh as I make my hawthorn tincture with berries collected this past full moon, with the intention of protecting my heart in the new year.

Time passes by so fast, doesn’t it, the age old saying that our parents & older relatives announced every year as a child or teen, but you never really feel it until you pass your 20’s I guess, 2024 is coming to an end already, it feels like yesterday we were on a beach in the Algarve hiding from this place. Now I just want to snuggle down with a good book or my crochet projects & not leave the comfort of my cosy barn until the light returns again next year.

December is always a month of reflection for me & also a time to set goals & aspirations for the coming year. I think about all the things we have accomplished this year & I feel glad about it, but somehow I feel like we could do more, we are quite burnt out in our 7th year as land stewards so things did slow down a little -BUT we built a hot shower, we built a new toilet, we fixed up our van & got a new car, we made more pizza than ever before, I planted a garden again in the Autumn which is blooming, we managed to take some breaks from home & spend time together away, we got a new wood burner in the barn that actually keeps us warm finally, we rearranged the living space to freshen things up a bit which worked wonders & we are still working on the tiny house, progress is slow but it is not nothing. I guess one day I will look back at this time of ours with a huge smile on my face because although living in a building site or a home that is not aesthetically pleasing for years does not feel ideal or always super relaxing ( I am a Taurus, ruled by Venus, I am also a projector & we like beautiful things & we need a space to rest & enjoy, for me this is my home ) we are building something from nothing, just the 2 of us, creating a home with our hands, somewhere we will be able to live in comfort for as long as we wish, a special tailor made place to come back to even if we do decide to travel for a period again some day.

I collected hawthorn berries last week & decided to make a tincture for the new year. Putting my energy into starting the year well with a happy & healthy heart. We grieve & we move on, that is just how life goes isn’t it, slowly we are edging closer towards our goal of an off grid life of sufficiency, full moons, star filled skies, homegrown vegetables & a good community spirit. Today I think I will also make a wreath for the barn so it can feel a little more festive in here. I will also collect a tiny pine tree & put it in a pot for the holiday season & then plant it out on the land somewhere in the Spring, as I have done before.

HAWTHORN TINCTURE RECIPE

• handful of berries

• a clean glass jar

• some alcohol to cover the material ( I use the locally made Portuguese aguardente )

You simply cover the berries with your alcohol of choice, shake it up every few days & leave in a dark place for 4-6 weeks. I will be opening this in the new year & enjoying a few drops every day until it runs out, to protect my heart.

Sorry for rambling, as usual, I hate to go back & edit my writing because I want it to feel more like a cosy chat with you rather than an overly scripted piece of writing so this is honestly just an outpouring of my thoughts onto a page/screen or whatever you want to call it, accompanied by some photographs I took during the process.

Big hugs! Catch you soon & as always, thank you so much for reading

Jaymie xo